Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
