I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
