i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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