Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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