We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
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my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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