After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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