So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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