Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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