Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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