you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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