There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
