i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
