Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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