You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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