I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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