...so i touched it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you will always have a special place in my vag
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
