the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
