I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
