we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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