I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
