ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
