ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
