she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
