Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
