Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
