If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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