Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
