I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
