she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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