finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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