All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
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Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
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Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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