I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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