Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
