Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
