I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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