so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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