i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Farmville is her only friend.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
