Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
