He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
