This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
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Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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