OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
