he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize