Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize