my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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