He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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