It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
