The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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