She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
