69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
