So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize