You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
