Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize