He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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