a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize