Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
