i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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