Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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